Of reading, prequels and Quidditch lessons!

We're not sure if we've actually ever told you, but yes, we are avid, voracious readers. The feeling derived from leafing through those books - especially if they're the old ones, with that musty kind of smell - is hardly comparable. (We enjoy doing other things too, lest you think we're them bookworm-arm-chaired critics type!)

Anyhow, my student (Keith here) passed on to me something that really hooked my attention. And it'll be a good read for anyone who's enjoyed (grown up with!) JK Rowling's masterpieces. 

It's a prequel the author started...and concluded. Have you ever come across it? We hadn't! And for those who haven't, well, we're sharing it with you here:

We won't stop short from giving you the rest (we were tempted to, haha)... so indulge in it some more!

Well, she does highlight that she's not working on it... Yet we can't help but try to imagine what an utterly haunting piece of reading it could have turned into. Oh well, you never know anyway. 

Meanwhile, while we put off reading for our Master (yet again!), we're about to start some Quidditch lessons. Driving lessons never really appealed to us ...so this looks like a much better alternative, doesn't it? 

Here's a snippet:

And if it's Albus Dumbledore addressing us, then we're in for it. You know what we'll be doing on this chilly evening ...cuppa, duvet & The Book! 

Enjoy your evening!

Apple Crumble Cake yumminess

This weather's our absolute favourite. Perfect cosy-at-home weather. We love dabbling in the kitchen too, so today was the perfect opportunity. We decided to go for a new invention of ours (as far as we know) - An apple crumble cake. We're not selfish, so since we can't quite share the actual cake with all of you, we'll give you our recipe - just keep it to yourselves!

Ingredients

250g unsalted butter at room temperature
50g unsalted butter - cold
150g granulated sugar
150g brown sugar
1.5tsp powdered cinnamon
1.5tsp mixed spice or allspice
1tsp powdered cloves
300g self-raising flour
1tsp baking powder
2 eggs
3tbsp (heaped) oats
3 red apples
1tbsp plain yoghurt
3tbsps milk
1tsp vanilla

Let's get to work!

Switch the oven on.

Peel and core the apples. Chop them into slices. Make sure they're not too thick yet not too thin. Put in a bowl and squeeze some lemon juice to avoid them going brown. Put aside.

To make the cake batter:
Mix 250g of butter, 125g granulated sugar and 125g brown sugar.

Add a tsp each of the cinnamon, mixed spice and powdered cloves; the eggs, milk, yoghurt and the vanilla to the mixture, and mix again.

Finally, sift 250g of the flour and the baking powder and mix with the rest of the mixture.

The crumble:
In a bowl, put 50g of flour, the oats, 1/2tsp of mixed spice, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 25g brown sugar, 25g granulated sugar and the cold butter (cut into small cubes). Now the best way to do this is to use your hands. Needless to say, wash your hands thoroughly before this step! Make sure the entire mixture is thoroughly mixed, especially the butter. Form a ball with the entire mixture to make sure everything is well mixed. Then crumble it back into the bowl.

Time to assemble!!

Butter a cake tin. (We used a 26cm round one.) Pour half of the cake batter into the tin. You'll find that the batter is rather thick, so you might need to help it spread using a spatula. Scatter half of the sliced apples on top of the batter. Next, Pour the second half of the batter and again, scatter the second half of the apples on top of the batter. Last but certainly not least, top the cake with the crumble. Set the oven at 180 degrees Celsius and bake the cake for 30 minutes. You might want to crank the heat up a little, to about 200 degrees mid way.

Keep an eye on it as ovens vary so you might either need to leave it longer or less.

It's yummy when still warm, as well as when cooled down. We like to serve it with a nice dollop of plain yoghurt. If you're looking for more decadence you might want to top it with a scoop of ice-cream, whipped cream or custard!

We hope you enjoy it as much as we've enjoyed it! :)

Then, just sit on your comfy couch, savour it and to complement the experience, shower it down with some nice tea ...while you catch up with our posts.

This one's mono-layered, so yours will be twice as high! :)

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Right?

Well, the statement may hold some water. Men and women are obviously different physically, as well as in the way they think, perhaps. Granted.

As far as we're concerned, though, the differences end there.

Now this is a comment a certain gentleman left under a joke we posted on our Facebook page.

Yes. Women are predesigned to grow into wives, have children and bake cakes. And pies, too. Men, on the other hand, can NOT take care of their children. They just don't have it in them.

It is plain sickening that despite all society has achieved nowadays, women are still not at par with their male counterparts. OK, we've made giant steps, true. Yet there's still a long way to go.

Alas, what gets to us is that there are many who wholly believe that yes, we have managed to achieve that balance, break that glass ceiling into a million pieces, and miraculously struck equality. So if you're reading this and you believe that, close this window. The following won't please you much.

How are women and men equal when there still are people who believe that wome should stay at home - clean, cook and tend to the cildren's and husband's needs? Oh, but some of these people agree that she can work before she's married. Why should she get a Uni degree? To help her children with their homework, of course! And if she still insists on working (what a nuisance some women are, aren't they?), she can teach kids at kindergarten - a nice and safe environment. That's good and pretty convenient, isn't it? That way, they'll finish work by 3 and head home to take care of the household chores ... lest the husband comes and throws a tantrum because the house is not spick and span. And if his mother incidentally comes over it would be really problematic.

Women are weak. And also emotional. But you will probably know that, wouldn't you? You must know that, especially if you hail from Malta. How dare you think otherwise? The 'sister' will punish you if you say that women shouldn't take maternity leave when they have a kid - and you don't want the 'sister' to be angry, do you? Your years at the 'muzew' would be horrible...

Anyhow, it's therefore a fact they can't deal with the stress that comes with a career. Their emotion should be reserved for their children and for supporting their husbands. Don't you think so? Oh well, just ask some of the graduates from our University... "they have a Ph.D ta', dawk jifhmu" many might tell you. And remember, they're the créme de la créme of our society.

The problem is that employers don't seem to care about this persisting problem. Mothers are not given the support needed as employers would rather make a pregnant woman redundant than employ and train a temp while paying the mother's maternity leave.

Needless to say, since taking anyone, let alone a company, to court is rather expensive, many women leave it at that and suffer the consequences of having children. Serves them right for being so arrogant as to think they can have the best of both worlds, right?

The fact that some women seem to be comfortable with this situation, though, makes our blood boil. How can a woman accept a man to take the lead and tell her what to do? How can she accept to give up all she's ever worked and strived for just because she happened to be born female? And above all, why should a woman have to feel compelled to choose between family and career? Men don't. Ah, our society seems to do miracles with that Barbie they give to girls and that car they give to boys.

Women such as Margaret Thatcher (have you seen Meryl Streep's interpretation? Gorgeous!), Hilary Clinton, even Victoria Beckham, have or had succesful careers as well as families.

But we needn't go so far. And neither should we go away from our shores. Why shouldn't we give a more palpable example, right? Well, here it is. Our mothers did the same exact thing. They raised us excellently, gave us all we needed, educated us and - oh, wait for it - juggled all this with a career. Our parents did their very best to strike a valuable balance between work and time with us. They always made sure our needs were fulfilled while working to provide a living, together with our dads. So no, working women don't translate into women abandoning their families. They don't have to neglect their children. These are ugly horror stories designed by luncatics who love women, yes, but with a pair of Vileda gloves on, doing the dishes...

How's that saying? Ah yeah, "there is supposed to be a lady in the parlour, a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom".

Women really need to pull their socks up and realise that nobody can tell them what to do. They are their own woman with a brain and potential to do whatever it is that they dream of doing. And those men with the very perverted idea, for that's what it looks like nowadays, should simply, well, LUMP IT.

K.O.

Because hey, Malta is the in place.

We shan't say much, for the pictures down here speak a million words.

                    So abroad you get this   

                 

                               ...and this

                          

                           ...and also this

But hey. Why should the Maltese be jealous of that, when we have THIS:

Is it just us, or does it also make you cringe?

It really goes on to show how right we were when we posted this!

It begs the question: Where exactly will Tom Cruise shop? Will Rebelli, SYL & Hugo Boss be enough? 

Why try to teach an old dog new tricks? Why?

Like many other thousands, we decided to watch Xarabank last Friday. If nothing, we felt like helping Peppi reach the top spot in those surveys. Haha.

Adoption was Friday's topic. Or rather, the nitty-gritty of it. But you already know that, don't you? The ladies at the grocer's will have already filled you in by now.

In any case, we aren't about to discuss who should or shouldn't be allowed to adopt. In fact, it's something wholly different that we're on about today. Alas, since the Maltese hardly see the wood for the trees when it comes to bringing up solid and real arguments, this topic goes hand in hand with any other.

The Church. That's what we'll be talking about here. Unfortunately, many on this island have that very tedious proverbial bee in the bonnet. And hell if it annoys us.

Why, oh why, do so many have to bring up religion in every discussion? Let's leave aside those who do it unconsciously, who still deserve a good spanking. But the most horrible ones are those who do it to sound all mighty and patronising - they hector you, and there's no way you'll ever have a decent conversation with such people. Spanking won't do with the latter, so shove a good-sized carrot down their throat when you get the chance.

Yes, such people are pedantically infuriating. But we're not here to discuss them, either.

While watching Xarabank, one could easily notice that many Maltese believe the Church should move on; should revamp its views; should, should, should...

We are using what went on on this last Xarabank episode merely as an example, because in reality it is very indicative of the way many people seem to be discussing things these days.

Those who know us are well aware of the fact that, albeit Catholic, we don't really and truly practice much. We believe in God, we hasten to add, lest the rector decides to commence legal proceedings (you never know!). Yet, those being so preposterous are just as annoying as the zealous Christians. That's sheer nonsense. Yes, simply nonsensical.

We don't want to be mean, but a spade must always be called a spade.

How long has the Church been there? Yes, right. It's been there forever, so to speak. It has been holding onto the same beliefs since its conception. Some things have changed slightly, but that's pretty much it.

We disagree with many things the Church professes to be cast-iron facts, lest you think we're some brainwashed, wacky ones. However, we simply cannot expect to knock on the Pope's door and hand him a list of things to be changed, because hey, w e don't really fancy those bits.

No, you can't do that.

If that were possible, don't you think that there wouldn't be a need for religions at all? Those who believe, the real ones, not the fake pious ones, do so because they want to believe in something beyond their comprehension. Whether you like it or not is beside the point, really.

Much to our dismay, we always get the gibberish talk lately. This time it's because of Alison Bezzina raising the question about adoption. Some months ago it was because of the divorce issue. Coming up next will probably be abortion. We'll see.

No matter how many points some people will come up with, the Church cannot possibly revamp itself. If it does that, it will be doomed to collapse. No religion can - nor should - evolve just because we now want it easier. We are not bound to abide by its rules, after all. It was very easy for us to vote YES for divorce, for example - once you've a functioning brain then you'll know what's good and not, and you needn't wait for the Church to tell you what to do.

What these people should be doing is something else. They should insist that the Church has no say in things that pertain to the state. The Church must not be privy to certain delicate matters and must not stand in the way of policy-makers. Unfortunately, though, neither the state nor the people have the guts to put the Church in its place and let it know that when it comes to matter of legality and statute, it has no say.

It is much easier to jump on someone's bandwagon rather than saying what really should be said. And the Maltese are worse than parrots at times. "What Cetta says at the grocer's is what I'll say at the ironmonger's" is too much of a horrendous syndrome pervading these islands.

People desperately need to start thinking things through a little longer before uttering such nonsense, whilst being totally oblivious to the weight their statements carry.

Disney reinterpreted!

They have all gone through numerous adventures, and we always tagged along, like the best of friends..

We grew up with them. And we might be 'big' now, but when we're sad, or someone lets us down, we all rush to grab that DVD & tuck it in that player... And everything - magically, as always - seems brighter!

They need no introduction. They are the magical Disney protagonists!

The following is a series of marvellous photos taken by the brilliant Annie Leibovitz, who was commissioned by Disney to work on an ad campaign. A campaign which is singular in its kind. A campaign which can be easily defined as a great work of art in its own right! 

All the protagonists have been interpreted by a celebrity... 

...check your favourite ones out!

Belle (Penelope Cruz) & The Beast (Jeff Bridges)

Evil Queen (Olivia Wilde) & Magic Mirror (Alec Baldwin)

Ursula (Queen Latifah)

Wendy (Gisele Bundchen), Peter Pan (Mikhail Baryshnikov) & Tinker Bell (Tina Fey)

Ariel (Julianne Moore)

Alice (Beyoncé), Mad Hatter (Oliver Platt) & March Hare (Lyle Lovett)

Prince Philip, from Sleeping Beauty (David Beckham)

Cinderella (Scarlett Johansson) 

Snow White (Rachel Weisz) 

King Arthur (Roger Federer)

Blue Fairy, from Pinocchio (Julie Andrews) & Apprentice Fairy (Abigail Breslin)

Pocahontas (Jessica Beil)

Jasmine (Jennifer Lopez) & Aladdin (Marc-Anthony)

The Genie, from Aladdin (Whoopi Goldberg)

...And something a bit modern, yet equally enchanting:

Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)

...And to her goes our big Thank You:

Annie Leibovitz

Bob the builder, can we fix it?

Has it ever hit you that we're a generation who grew up in comfort and luxury. We went to school, numerous after-school activities, hobbies, toys, gadgets and God-knows-what. Mummy and daddy always did everything for us, took us everywhere, bought us everything...

Now that we're in our early twenties (scary, yeah!), we are still being babied by our parents. (Denying it would be futile at this point.) Our foreign readers may find this ridiculous, embarrassing perhaps - with good reason! However, living on this tiny rock gives us very little opportunity to venture out and brave life's storms on our own as hardly nobody ever leaves home before they get married, or hit 30. Some are so reluctant to leave the nest that they bring their spouses and future offspring to live with their parents. 

So anyway, a couple of days ago we got talking about how useless we are at practical stuff. There have been plenty of times when we needed a bulb changed, a plug replaced and such miscellaneous hiccups that regular people have to deal with in the daily running of their households. We are ignorant to these things, unfortunately. But it isn't just us, is it?

These generations are fixated with studying. Getting those goddamn O'levels (or you don't get a job), A'level (because everyone has O'levels, and you must be better than them if you want to stand a chance), Degrees (because now that you've gone so far, you might as well get it), Master (because everyone has a degree, so a Master's degree is crucial) ...thank God we haven't gone as far as making Ph.D an imperative need - not yet. Anyway, what we're saying is that we study, and study, and go out, and go out, and we never, ever get to learn anything that is really helpful when it comes to daily needs. (OK, there might be those who did pick some things up, but they aren't many, are they?) Of course, all our lives we've had our dads to take care of such stuff. 

Then again, this seems to be a generational problem. And no, it's not a problem pervading only these islands. The dads seem to be able to put the Brainiac team to shame. They can do everything, fix anything. We, on the other hand, are insanely useless at everything.

And what are the consequences? Well, whenever you need to get something done you have to get the so-called professionals to do it. You fork out the money when you could've done it yourself in 10 minutes. Yeah, because time is another problem, isn't it? You cannot simply do it when you most need it. No, you need to wait for them to find a slot for you. All very understandable, of course. Yet, it's annoying nevertheless.

Case in point? We had a watch that wouldn't work. So what do we do? Easy, you go to Sterling (where we bought it from) and have it fixed. The lady there said they must replace the battery. We immediately said "yes", you know, what else do you say? 4 days later they texted and we went to pick it up. 5 euros. That's what we had to pay. Had we thought of it, something the previous generation would have probably done, we could have bought a whole pack of those batteries for the same price - if not less. It's a stupid example perhaps, yet it perfectly renders the idea, doesn't it?

We'd love to know what the generations to come will be like and how much worse the situation will be. Haha.

Start crying. Now. OK?

Do you remember the time everyone was frenziedly liking and sharing those morbid pictures of battered animals and abortioned babies? Do you remember how truly annoying that was?

Well, those sharing seem to have realised they were becoming an atrocious pain. 

So they left. That's all good. 

A new craze, however, seems to be pervading the net. It's equally irritating and no less pitiable. 

As a matter of fact, many have just been divinely enlightened.
How? Oh, it has just dawned on many people that in Africa there's starvation. Oh, and people actually die over there. You see, in other countries they do not. Who would have thought, huh? 

The victim, this time round, is Whitney Houston. 

Don't you believe us? (We know you do, but we need to say that to share the pictures!)

                               

       . . .

And if that weren't enough to fancy your amusement, there's more to come. 

Many have just discovered that soldiers die for us. They have only starting dying. In the past they lived forever for enroling in the army. 

But, hey, no one has yet started crying. 

Next thing we know will be thousands fetching their tickets to go to African countries and help out. Because non-Africans don't die, remember? And others will chain themselves outside the White House - and outside Castille - for all wars to cease forthwith and for all soldiers to be recalled. 

It's not that we don't think Africans should be in our thoughts. It's not that we think soldiers dying for their country aren't praiseworthy. They are. The media do their best to remind us every so often. 

Nothing of that, really. But people sharing such pictures without realising the weight they carry is plain stupid. 

It's all a question of 'monkey see, monkey do' really. And it's annoyingly frustrating to have your wall filled with photos of a dead diva being called into question because, oh well, she died now, we can use her photo juxtaposed to dying and starving people!

And that's quite apart from the fact that people like Houston (and the other ones) have dedicated their lives to entertain us. But that's a different story altogether, and we had better not put too fine a point there.

.....same thing had happened when Steve Jobs died.

IIi, what a spexjal trawser you have, today!

We live in Malta. All the Maltese can speak English. The Maltese are, in fact, native speakers.

Bollocks. That's all gibberish talk. If you think it isn't, then don't read on. Instead, we urge you to close this page.

These islands, or rather their inhabitants, are incredibly proud to have English as an official language. This is further emphasised by the fact that all the people are perfectly capable of speaking it.

Children don't need to go to school to learn it, for all Maltese are born bilingual. If some aren't, they pick up the language at home, alongside Maltese. Yes, that's how it all happens. 

As a matter of fact, when children reach Junior 1, they are already able to grasp the arcana of the language, hence mastering it to perfection. Don't you believe us? Oh, you should have a word with the teachers teaching in primary schools. They would simply love to let you in on a couple of surprises. Although we don't really wish to let on too much, we believe you deserve to know that a good number of them feel practically useless in that classroom when it comes to teaching The Language. So much so that many of them have decided to refund part of their salary, because in reality they don't teach English, at all. They don't have to.

Yes, the Maltese are perfect speakers of the language. Why have we drawn such a conclusion? Again, that is elementary, Watson.

If one were to sit for the MATSEC Advanced Level English exam, they can do so without having a clue about how to speak it, because you see, a language shan't be spoken. God forbid and Heaven forfend that ever were to happen.

That's precisely why many foolish ones believe that all the Maltese are able to speak English without any difficulty. Yes, because by not letting them speak they have the chance to ignore the catastrophic level of spoken English. They may know the language well on paper (not quite) but they certainly leave much to be desired in their speaking skills.

"You have a spexjal trawser today" - as one teacher of English, colleague of ours, once told us - is merely an example. So are the infamous "stuwdyints", "tenk yuw", "haaam bergerrr", "orrajjt" and many, many more.

The same people speaking in this manner might impress the examiners with very (pedantic) flowery language, but that certainly cannot substitute for a sheer lack of fluency. 

To cut a long story short, those who, for example, make 'tree' and 'three' sound like the exact same word should, uhmm, what's the word for it? Ah yeah: they should be failed in this section of the exam. 

Speaking is - and we hope you see eye to eye with us on this one - a pivotal part of a language, hence it should be tested like any other aspect of a language. What's more is that it should have the same weight as any other componenet of the exam.

The sheer disregard of such crucial assessment has led Malta to this sorry state of affairs with which we now have to contend. 

And we had better make it quick, or we will no longer be able we take pride in "Inglixx iz maj lengwicc".

Thank Goodness, somebody on the MATSEC board has finally had an epiphany and come to realise that speaking is actually one of the four skills to be mastered when learning a language. (Yes, only two of those skills are regarded at the moment) 2013 is the year when speaking will start to be tested at Advanced level. Will it have a drastic effect on the general level of English in Malta? Certainly not, yet it's a start.

When calling someone an animal is an insult to the animal itself

A cat was found crucified in Mosta. Sounds like a morbid scene from a horror film, right? Well, it isn't. This past year, we've got sick of hearing about battered and butchered animals. This particular episode is actually the 4th in a series of crucified animals found in Mosta - all within 3 months.

So for starters, neither of us is a huge animal fan. Having said that, we are disgusted at the mere concept of somebody ill-treating an animal. How can anyone hurt, let alone crucify or bury alive a cat or a puppy. If this person can stoop as low as to do such a despicable thing, imagine what the same person is capable of doing to a human being. Are such people to be trusted with children? Should they even be allowed to interact with society?

Yet, we have this nagging feeling that there's something else at the root of this problem. As we mentioned earlier, there's been a surge in these stories. So what's the deal? Is it that these things happened before but were never reported, or is it that these sick people crave attention?

We truly hope the authorities are on it. They have more time on their hands now - until the UoM rector decides to have some other student arrested on the grounds of censorship, that is.

It's high time we broke that strong sense of omertà that seems to pervade these islands. How, exactly, are we to believe that no one saw anything? No one. It keeps on happening, but everyone is oblivious to whatever happens outside their houses. Oh, please! Sometimes you'd think we live in some twisted Sicily stuck in the 800s.

In any case, let's get to the root of these barbaric acts.